Brad's Tiny World

The New American Idol Rules

Posted on 23. Mar, 2009 by Brad in American Idol | Twitter: @bradhart |

American Idol has just been sent a new set of rules that apply to the top ten and Motown night.  Here they are:

10) Adam Lambert is not allowed to to sing Sexual Healing.  I am not sure if there is a song he will be allowed to sing from the Motown catalog or not, but without a doubt he is not allowed to screw up Sexual Healing.  Also because of his tendency to shout at us The Isley Brothers are also off limits to him.

9) Megan Joy Corkrey should not try and be Dianna Ross.  If Nick Mitchell aka Norman Gentle were still around he would be Diva enough to pull it off, but Megan Joy Corkrey is not.
Danny Gokey ( Danny Gotke) is not allowed to sing Leader of the Pack any time he mentions death or religion in a song he should be docked 10 million votes.

7) Lil Rounds must return to her R&B roots but should not try and copy any female artist of classic Motown

6) Allison Iraheta is also not allowed to touch Sexual Healing. While I don’t have any doubts our little Rocker Grrl could sing it well, the age of consent in California is eighteen.  While I would highly approve of her rebellion rocker side breaking the law I don’t really want to hear about how they let her sing about something she should know nothing about legally for the next several weeks.  Nor do I want to find out this season’s Jesus freak is telling her how she should wait as the Christianly thing to do.

5) Michael Sarver must stay away from the Jackson Five.  Him singing a Jackson Five song would be about as inappropriate as anything Michael Jackson has ever done with a little boy.

4)Kris Allen is no Edwin Star and should he try to be, he will rightly deserve what ever war of words Simon Cowell drops on him.

3)Matt Giraud needs much direction and will only be allowed to pick one of the mentor’s songs.

2)Scott MacIntyre will be allowed to play his piano but to avoid being a mockery of the original artist he is not allowed to sing anything by a blind guy.

1) Anoop Desai should rule this category but to make sure he doesn’t screw himself he will not be allowed to pick any artist with a voice deeper than Randy Jackson.

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