We are committed to living, as far as it is possible, by the moral precepts taught by Jesus Christ and by the whole counsel of God as revealed in the Bible.

What this really says is they are going to use whatever financial and political power they can muster to force you to live this way too.  What they fail to mention is when the scriptures says different things they will decide for you what it means and will try to force you to live by that rule to.

Right To Life: We believe that every human deserves the right to life—from conception to death—and that we do not have the right to kill unborn children nor to murder the elderly through active euthanasia. We do, however, support the death penalty.

Does anyone see the irony here?  I know this is a long standing argument so I won’t beat it to death other than to call them hypocrites by throwing their own words back at them.  “We believe that every human deserves the right to life.”  How does that fit in with the death penalty?  Men are foulable (and women according to the Old Testament are brain dead idiots incapable of thinking without their husband, son, father or brother doing most of it for them), this is proven by your notion that some people need to be killed.  If men are foulable, who then stands fit to judge whether a person should be put to death?  If evidence later proves the condemned and executed was not guilty do we let Biblical justice be carried out on the jurors, the prosecutors, the witnesses for the prosecution, the investigators (ie the police), the judge and the accuser/victim?  I believe an eye for an eye, and such would be the proscribed retribution here, but while they are at it we should make sure any punishment such as beatings and rapes dealt out by other prisoners while waiting to die should be answered for by these people to. What do you say?  It sounds fair in a traditional biblical sort of way doesn’t it?

We support the God-ordained institution of the family, which is a union of a man and woman, with or without children—and is based upon marriage, blood, or adoption.

I noticed they left out all the parts about casting aside barren wives, the ability to give back unsuitable brides, obedience to men, and most of all the polygamy that is so prevalent in the bible.  If Solomon was the wisest man of the bible, would not the rest of us men be wiser with extra wives, mistresses and concubines?

Religion Reaches Out To Teach Children Traditional Values. It some how forgot to make t-shirts saying women are the property of men.

Homosexual behavior is explicitly condemned in both the Old and New Testaments as an abomination and a violation of God’s standards for sexuality.

It is all well and good for them to condemn such behavior for Christians since it is pretty clear in Leviticus queer behavior just isn’t acceptable for those that believe.  I do notice the hypocrites left out all the other prohibitions and rituals of Leviticus as inconvenient reminders to the women and farmers they want the support of.  I am pretty sure the good and often highly conservative farm folk of Iowa would be less than supportive of the coalition if they were told that hog farming was going against the bible and put them in league with faggots.  Shall we also touch base on how Leviticus says women should act?  If you are unsure how women should act try reading the bible stories written for children.

We oppose the normalization of sodomy as well as cross-dressing and other deviant sexual behaviors in our culture.

They should make sure that they spell that out because in every traditional sense of cross dressing women who wear pants are exhibiting deviant sexual behavior and that must be opposed.

Frequently, this person (anyone who looks at porn) acts out his sexual fantasies by molesting children, raping girls, and committing other sexual crimes—including murder.

I am asking for their proof.  I am calling them to task and asking them to support this with proof not just their deluded and as I have proven (and will continue to prove) hypocritical sense of moral values.  Please show us the statistics that millions of us with Playboy subscriptions frequently go about raping, molesting, and murdering.  If I were to murder anyone over a Playboy it would be some religious fanatic who tried to keep me from exercising the free will they believe God gave me to make decisions for myself.

When fascism comes to America, it will be waving the flag and carrying a Bible.

Patriotism, Loyalty To Country, And Political Involvement: We believe that we are to be good citizens. This means we are loyal to our nation (not blind loyalty, however); we are to support our Armed Forces, law enforcement officials, and we should participate in the political process. We live in a free country but we will not remain free if we do not exercise our rights as citizens.

Let us decipher this.  “We are loyal to our nation, but not blindly loyal.”  The meaning is very clear.  They will be loyal so long as it suits their fanatic religious needs, but they will turn traitor, break the laws, and work against national interests if it doesn’t look to be in their interests.  “We support our armed forces, and law enforcement officials.”  Meaning without subverting these institutions the radical left might impose their will on us.  Alternate meaning by infiltrating these institutions we can use them to smite anyone who just doesn’t agree with us, not to mention use the military to spread the Christian word in the name of fighting terrorists.  “We should participate in the political process.” The meaning should be pretty clear to anyone who has witnessed the last sixteen years of religious fanatics trying to impose their religious agenda on the secular world through politics.  The last notion is not only laughable it is scary.  I can hardly believe they have the audacity to say the only way they can keep us a free country is buy using political activity to deny others their god given freewill.

It is never wrong when you think you are in the moral majority.

We support free enterprise, limited government, low taxes, and personal responsibility. We believe in self government, not self indulgence. We do not believe that the federal government should extend its power over every aspect of our lives. The best government is the one that governs the least.

This is easy to sort out.  Fuck employees, fuck anyone not in the majority, its our money fuck anyone that wants it, and anyone who can’t make it doesn’t deserve to make it because god doesn’t love them.  They believe the government should leave people alone, except when the government says it is okay to act in ways the coalition doesn’t like.  They want a weak federal government because it is the only power strong enough to protect minorities from mobs riled up by demagoguery.  Last but not least if those fucking liberals are in power we want them to stay out of our lives, but when we have the power we aren’t governing we are carrying out god’s will.

Religious Freedom: We are advocates of religious freedom. We believe the First Amendment to our Constitution gives all of us the right to freely exercise our religious faith and that religious faith is the cornerstone of freedom in this nation. Our Founding Fathers supported religion, purchased Bibles, established congressional chaplains, and sent missionaries to witness to the Indians. They enacted the First Amendment to protect religious freedom, not to stifle it

If you notice the wording, it says their religious freedom.  Fuck anyone who might get in their way or want to practice a different religion is The Coalition’s motto.  Simply put their version of Christianity, which would appall even the most devout of the Founding Fathers, is the only thing that matters.  Everyone else must step aside and shut up about their heresy and misinterpretations of the bible.  If these people want to claim religion was founding value in this country and therefore should persist to this day then they must also accept chattel slavery, subjugation of women, children and those with no property were also founding values and should be continued.  I would ask why aren’t these traditional value fanatics demanding we collar the president elect and his family until they can be sold off to the highest bidder, starting with his little girls first, then I remember how many of that group are calling for just that.

We believe in “discrimination” in the good sense: choosing between good and evil, right and wrong, the better and the best. We believe in discrimination in the sense of being discerning between good and bad choices.

It is easy to justify discrimination when you are the ones deciding what is good and what is evil, especially when you are convinced you are the only good people and anyone who believes differently than you is inherently evil.  In their mind the good choice is to shut up and do whatever they tell you to do.  The bad choice is to use the free will they claim god gave.

Not only are these people hypocrites, but they are fascists deceiving the public by waving a cross and wrapping themselves in the American flag.  They want to pull on your heart strings as much as on your puppet strings.  They will lead you where they want you to go and close the curtain on you if you desire to act of your own accord.  If you embrace their version of traditional values, you give up the most traditional of all values, freedom of choice.  They may claim they are only upholding tradition, but should we really be upholding the traditions of oppression simply because it is traditional?

What’s your Christian OS?

The best question one can ask during this political season is not are you a Christian, but “what kind of Christian are you?” Too often American’s settle for someone claiming to be Christian and calling it good enough. Oh sure they make a few distinctions between Catholics and protestants.  Mostly  Americans can’t really define what is and isn’t protestant, except to say, not Catholic.

If Catholicism was Christianity 1.0, and the reformation brought about Christianity 2.0, the question is where are we now? I would say we have moved into at the very least 4.0 sp2. What happened to version 3.0? Those are all the American splinter sects of the original Protestant stock that came to this continent. Those groups include the Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and 7^th Day Adventists among the popular choices. I liken them to open source programming since they are so easily modified to suit your needs.

So how did we get to 4.0 sp2? The answer is easy, social progress and the need to believe. When did version 4.0 come about? The Beta versions of 4.0 starting appearing as science started to disprove many biblical stories during the mid 19^th century. As scientific advancement and social progress have continued to move forward, so has the nature of Christianity delivering into at least sp2 of Christianity 4.0.

Well what does this new operating system provide? Many of the new believers are willing to accept that the facts of the bible might not be accurate, and that it is the meaning of the story rather than the facts that are important. Sp2 Christians are also likely to disregard whole passages and entire books, especially from the Old Testament. For Example many in the gay and lesbian communities who take issue with the old school stance against their life style, are quite happy to disregard Deuteronomy and Leviticus.

What’s next in the development of the Christian OS? I believe we are already seeing the development of 5.0. I believe the key feature of the new belief will allow believers to choose the combo feature pulling in both aspects of divine predestination and freewill. Under the new system this will no longer cause a fatal error for hypocrisy. On the flip side of allowing more contradiction, they will be completely eliminating the Old Testament as a legacy application.

Please know your Christian OS version and have all relevant registration information before calling the Divine at:

1(866)ROF-LMAO.

Well it is certainly campaign season now. How do I know? There is a plethora of people claiming to be Christians everywhere I go. I have nothing against candidates saying what they believe if they actually spelled out what it was they believe. Saying you are a Christian is like saying you are a clearance sale, you hope to attract as many people as you possible without telling them what you are really selling. What kind of Christian are you? You also shouldn’t be let off the hook easy by saying a I’m a Baptist, I’m a Mormon, or I am a Catholic. If you are going to throw your belief of Jesus being the earthly vessel then we need to hear what it is you really believe. Do you believe in free will or divine predestination? How do you interpret the book of revelations? Is the bible factual or allegorical? Will you work on the sabbath? Make your candidate answer these questions and more. Get a real measure of the man (or woman) by finding out exactly what kind of Christian they claim to be.

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It is Sunday again and low and behold there are people driving down the snow topped ice sheet we call my street. At just after seven, I have already heard four accidents. I am not exactly sure why the cops actually bother to leave, they know there will be two or three more fender benders before church actually starts. In some ways I can truthfully say I admire people of faith. The truly faithful have something I will never have, the ability to believe in something that there is absolutely no hard evidence to support, not even sound scientific theories. It takes a lot of guts to say I believe in something that all the evidence of the world points against. Of course that is the nature of faith. The people who irk the fuck out of me are those that claim to be believers but don’t have any real faith. I can’t stand the pretenders who change the rules to suit them either. There are those who will tell you they can do that because that is simply how they interpret the bible, but I just can’t buy that.

On this marvelously cold Sunday I leave you with two things to think about. Is Christian faith so weak that they must crusade every movie that might espouse a belief other than Christianity? Why is it Christians, the long time persecutors of non Christians done in remembrance of a time when it was they were the persecuted by the powerful, feel the need to attack The Golden Compass movie? Could it be not that it denigrates the church and Christianity, but rather the story of a fictional church in a fictional world is portrayed as the antagonist in the allegorical tale of absolute power corrupts absolutely? Might it be the movie and the book it is based on hits a little too close to home for some Christians? Lastly, I leave you with the Christian musing on the matter of theology. If the Lutheran Pastor has rear ended the Calvinist Pastor (I actually think this is the case by looking out the window) who is at fault based on their understanding of theology? Legally the Lutheran is at fault as he slid into the Calvinist. Will the Calvinist who believes in predestination and not free will be able to fault god rather than the other driver? Will the free will believing Lutheran acknowledge that he is the sole responsible party for the accident and that neither the ice and snow applied by the will if not direct hand of of god, nor the lack of plowing and salt the city failed to provide is the ultimate cause of the accident?

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